Tag Archives: loss

Grief: My experience and advice

Hey, you foxy foxes. I’ve had a few ideas in my head for this thing lately but, it seems, I never take the time to sit down and hammer them out. This one seems a little important, though. Not in the grand scheme of things or anything like that, but to me, in my own head, lately. Maybe it will prove important to you as well. Maybe not. But get yourself a hot chocolate or something before you start reading. This is a long one.

I’ve been thinking a lot about grief and grieving. I lost a cousin last weekend. We weren’t particularly close. In fact, I had met him maybe twice in my whole life. But his brother, my other cousin (let’s call him C) has to be one of my favorite people in the world. It just so happens that C was headed up to my house for a visit and got the news about his brother maybe five minutes before boarding the plane. So that’s probably why the subject is in my head.

I’ve had my share of grief. None of my grandparents are alive. I’ve said goodbye to extended family, close friends, distant friends, and numerous pets. But most importantly, I lost my mom a couple of years ago and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It hurt physically. I never thought I would recover from the trauma of losing her. I still miss her, actively, every day. People say things like that all the time, right? “I miss her every day.” But I’m serious. There is not a day where I don’t recall her somehow. Our lives were so intertwined that it is impossible for me to go more than a few hours without her memory interjecting itself. It used to kill me, but really, I love that about her. I love that we had the sort of relationship that would hurt so much to lose. It’s taken a few years to reach this point, but I get so much pure enjoyment out of things that remind me of our time together. I feel like a part of something when I can trace my mannerisms, my habits, back to her. Especially the ones she always traced back to her dad. I’ve come a long way, baby.

Here are some tips for anyone going through the loss of someone close. Each experience is different and these may be worthless to you. But they are things that have helped me, personally, get to this point. Continue reading

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